


Let Me Drive For a While

by Wesley



Series: Let Me Drive For a While [1]
Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-31 02:14:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6451420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wesley/pseuds/Wesley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick and Judy are spending a lot of time together. Judy is changing and Nick is going to find out why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Me Drive For a While

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first chapter/prologue in what I hope to be a series if people enjoy it!
> 
> Series will be explicit and angsty. You've been warned! 
> 
> For those interested in the writing soundtrack:  
> \- Pure Grinding by Avicii  
> \- Chronic by Phoebe Ryan
> 
> UPDATE: Wow, I am incredibly humbled by the wonderful reception and your encouragement! I'm working on continuing the series right now.

            It was like this most evenings, Judy curled up on the couch watching the evening news on Nick’s surprisingly large TV, or raptly reliving the day’s events like a scene from a movie. Often she’d spread out case files on his sleek kitchen table, asking him again for a pair of fresh eyes; he’d oblige only after a long eye roll. His partner was literally unable to pull herself away from her job. It couldn’t even be called a job, it was a life calling. The dedication and passion she expressed each day never ceased to amaze him. When had he ever felt like that about anything?

            Judy’s apartment was much too small to fit the both of them so she’d reluctantly agreed to visit Nick’s apartment when he’d offered. He wasn’t lying about how much he’d made “since birth.” The place was beautiful, beautiful in a way that Judy had never known. The simplicity and sleekness of the furnishings fit Nick’s personality, it also made her greatly aware of her pathetic living situation. She’d have to find a way to keep him away from her hole-in-the wall at any cost. The way he dressed and acted she would never have guessed he lived in such a nice place; every day she learned something new about him.

            “I just think if we looked at it again,” she shuffled various pictures around in patterns on the table, “we could find a connection.” She eagerly glanced up at him, those huge, starry eyes so full of hope.

            “Look Carrots, you’ve been going over those for hours. Take a break.” Nick leaned against the doorjamb and nodded towards the couch. “It couldn’t hurt, relax, get some ‘fresh eyes’.”

            Judy’s brow furrowed in frustration. “Nick, people are counting on us.”

            “People will _always_ be counting on us. You have to draw the line somewhere.” He could see the hesitation and frustration on her face as she looked back down at the photos with rapt attention. He approached her softly and laid a hand on her shoulder. Her head snapped upwards at the connection. He quickly pulled his hand back. He’d tried to convince himself that her jumpiness at any small physical contact lately was just the nature of their work but somehow the word “predator” kept flashing in his mind. “Just a short break, okay?” Her face softened, the corner of her mouth pulled up in a slight smile.

            “Okay.” She laughed. Nick couldn’t help but return that beautiful smile. Her dedication was beyond measure; she was pure goodness, that he was sure of.

            They spent most of their days together in close quarters: at the office, in the car. Now, adding evenings into the mix it seemed that there was hardly a time they weren’t together. This hadn’t seemed to be a problem, until recently. Nick noticed with concern that Judy seemed jumpier around him lately; she kept a safe physical distance between them, never got too close on the couch or patted him on the shoulder too long.

            It’s not like she had feelings for him, he knew that, but her withdrawal was concerning. Nick wanted nothing more than for Judy to be happy; this was something he had never felt before. Caring for someone else was unfamiliar but in its own way wonderful. Every day, walking in and seeing Judy’s beaming face staring up at him over some case that was only mildly interesting was a reward in itself. He found himself noticing new things about her day by day, like the way her ears drooped when she was deep in thought or frustrated. She snorted when she thought something was extremely funny, and her favorite food was chocolate ice cream, not carrots, although he wouldn’t let that one go. When they were apart it was like she was still there with him, always in his mind. He found himself wondering about her past, and her future. Their future. What was her family like? Would she talk about them if he asked? She seemed to avoid any personal questions, although he could greatly relate.

            Judy stood up and stretched her stiff limbs; Nick smiled which earned him a red-faced bunny that quickly turned shuffled off towards the couch. He frowned.

            “Want a beer?” He called, still leaning on the doorframe. Judy wasn’t much of a drinker, she didn’t like to cloud her mind with anything that could dull her “keen detective senses.”

            She sighed. “Yeah…yeah, that would be nice. Thanks Nick.” She smiled over her shoulder. His breath caught in throat. A warm feeling spread through his chest down to his groin. He slipped into the kitchen, opened the fridge door and stuck his face into the cool fridge to clear his head. He liked Judy, cared for her immensely, there was no denying that. Inside and out she was the most honest, thoughtful, wonderful, person he’d ever known. He wasn’t a liar exactly, although he often found a way around telling the truth, but he _never_ lied to himself. There was something happening, and it could go very, very, wrong. He grabbed two beers and sauntered over to the most striking creature he had ever laid eyes on. She took the cold beverage with both paws and smiled up again.

            “Thanks...er…fluffy tail!” She snorted loudly.

            “When will you just give up Carrots? You will _never_ think of a clever name for me.” Nick flopped down hard on the sofa, kicking his feet up and sprawling out. “Just give up.”

            “Nope.” She playfully shook her head. “Never giving up.” His heart felt as if it would burst. _Good_.

 

            She left at a decent time, as always. Ever the proper Judy Hopps. Nick wanted nothing more than to offer for her to stay, for her to forget the time for just one evening. Just the thought of her sleeping near him…but she would never agree to that and to be honest she would take offense if he offered. Why did he want her to stay? It’s not like he could touch her, hold her, stroke her soft fur till she fell asleep in his arms. He shook his head. This was definitely going to end badly.

  

* * *

 

            8:30AM – another bright and cheery morning in the office. Nick slunk slowly through the front doors, sunglasses on as he made his way to the coffee pot. Sure enough his little ray of sunshine appeared right on the dot.

            “Hey Nick!” She bounced around behind him, trying to wave a picture over his shoulder. He groaned in response. “I think I got it! You were right, I just needed a pair of fresh eyes. I looked over these last night-”

            “That’s not what I meant when I said fresh eyes Carrots, I meant take a _break_.”

            “And I think I know who our next lead is!” She exclaimed, completely ignoring his chide.

            “Alright, alright. Let’s get to it.” He sighed.

            “I’ll get the keys!” He couldn’t help but turn his head and watch her skip away, her soft curves swaying back and forth, her cute tail bouncing up and down. He couldn’t tear his eyes away, his mouth slightly agape. She had such delicate features, so fragile but somehow still strong. He shook his head to rid himself of the trance, quickly closing him mouth and following after her slowly.

            Not only was office romance frowned upon but interspecies relationships wasn’t exactly high on the list of social norms, especially between predator and prey. If anything happened to Judy, if he hurt her…he couldn’t risk ruining the one relationship that actually meant something to him. She had been afraid of him once, that kind of fear doesn’t go away easily. 

 

            The day consisted of the usual, Judy interrogating suspicious suspects, trying to appear menacing and failing miserably, but with Nick by her side no one would dare lay a hand on her. He could tell she felt pleased with the outcome of the day’s investigation; her nose would bounce in an adorably way when she was really excited.

            Dusk was setting in, orange on the horizon. Judy sat in the passenger seat of the large Hummer, flipping through pages and making little “hmm” sounds that made Nick chuckle.

            “Hey Carrots…” She glanced up briefly, quickly noticing they weren’t taking their usual route back to the station.

            “Hey where are we going? Nick—”

            “I’m starving,” he leaned back on the console, glancing coolly over his shoulder at the fragile creature next to him, engulfed in the giant seat. “How about some dinner?”

            “But we just got this new information Nick I really thi—”

            “ _I_ think you should listen to me for once.” He grinned largely, charm oozing out from every fiber of his being. Her heart fluttered and she thanked god that she was the one with large ears.

            “I listen to you plenty!”

            “Like when?”

            “Like last week when we followed that guy! Down the alley and—”

            “I said _not_ to follow him down the alley because he knew we were on to him.”

            “Okay, well I questioned that bike shop owner and—”

            “You _grilled_ him Carrots, and he refused to give us any info after that.” Her cheeks were burning. “All I’m saying,” his tone changing to one of care, “is that you should let me drive for a little while.” He knew how hard this was for Judy to do. She’d had to fight her whole life for everything. Letting go was not something that came easily to her. Nick pulled up alongside a small Thai bistro and parked, flashing Judy another smile.

            “I wanted to try this place…” she whispered.

            “I remember.”

 _But that was weeks ago!_ _How could he possibly remember…_

            “Come on, my treat.”

            “Alright, but NO carrots.”

 

* * *

  

            After an undeniably delicious dinner they pulled into the station parking lot to drop off the Hummer and pick up their cars.

            “Want to come over tonight? We can go over your interrogations, you know, have some real fun.” Nick rolled his eyes and laughed. He noticed Judy’s furrowed brow, her rigid posture. “Hey, I was just kidding.” No response. “Hey Carrots, I didn’t mean—”

            “Thanks…for dinner, Nick. It was really great.” Her breath came out in short gasps. Her hands fidgeted in her lap. “I’ll see you at work tomorrow, okay?” She forced a nervous smile and reached for the door handle. Nick gently grabbed her hand. She pulled it away as if she’d been burnt. His stomach dropped out.

            “Are you…Of course,” he laughed angrily, gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles.

            “What? Nick I—”

            “Yeah, yeah I get it.” He was starting to shake. Judy had rarely seen Nick this angry.

            “Nick,” she raised her hands pleadingly, “I don’t know what you’re thinking but whatever it is it’s not right, I—”

            “Sure Judy. Nothing’s wrong right?” He shook his head gently. Panic started to set into her body, she felt dizzy. “You hardly look at me, won’t let me get within two feet of you, you’re not scared of me at all anymore, sure, sure.”

            A jolt of anguish shot through her entire body.

            “No, Nick. No. That is _not_ true.”

            “Sure.”

            “Nick, I trust you with my life!” No matter how hard she tried to fight it tears began to burn in her eyes.

            “You don’t have to lie.” There was nothing he hated more than being lied to, especially coming from Judy.

            “No Nick! Please, it’s not like that.”

            “Like what?” His face twisted in a frenzy of pain and rage.

            “I…I don’t know what to say.” Her eyes darted back and forth frantically. She was never particularly good at articulating her feelings. Why couldn’t she explain when it mattered the most?

            “Well then I can’t help you.” He spat.

            “You don’t have to be an ass!” She watched his grip tighten on the wheel, his eyelids pressed tightly together. “Just forget it.” She opened the door to step out.

            “Why?! Because it’s easier for you? Because maybe there’s something you want to tell me?” She was halfway out the door when her body turned to ice; she half-turned back, wanting to run but unable to leave. The emotions on her face betrayed her. “That’s right, I’ve felt it for weeks. You’re scared of me again aren’t you?” His voice was defeated, sadness replacing anger.

            “That’s not fair and you _know_ it.” Her voice cracked.

            He was hitting a nerve and he didn’t plan on stopping.

            “Then what is it? Brave little Carrots can’t even tell me what’s bothering her so badly. So badly, that she pushes away her own partner, her best friend.”

            Both of their eyes were wide with anger and confusion, their breathing rapid and shallow. Judy’s lip trembled, tears spilling down her cheeks. Nick’s eyes flicked up and down her features, an ache set into his heart, so unbelievably heavy with pain. He’s shouting at little Carrots, making her shake with sadness. She’s right, he is an ass. Before he even had time to process it Judy was jumping out the door and half running to her car. Nick followed quickly behind.

            “Judy.” His voice was stern but concerned. She fumbled for her keys in her pocket. He was right behind her now. “Judy, look at me.” She didn’t turn. “Judy!” He could see her hands trembling to get the key into her car. “Carrots, stop.” He risked it and placed a firm hand on her shoulder. She froze, her body seemed to decompress under the weight of his hand with some unknown stress.

            “You don’t know Nick.” She turned to face him, her eyes burning with inexplicable sadness and pain. “You don’t know anything about me. You just assume that this is all about you.” She turned back to her car. “I don’t care, think that if you want.” Nick had never seen her in such a frenzy. She pulled the door open slightly, his hand pushed it back shut.

            “Hey, calm down, talk to me.” His breath was hot on the back of her neck, the feeling of him so close…

            She whipped around. “What if I don’t want to? Did you every think of that?!”

            “Judy, what the hell is going on? Talk to me.” Nick pleaded, his face just inches from hers, searching for any sign of discernable emotion that could piece together this puzzle.

            “How _dare_ you.” Nick's brain burned with confusion.

            “Wha—”

            “You automatically think I’m afraid of you!” He’d unleashed something inside of her; he’d wanted to know and now he was going to get it. “So I’m withdrawn!” She wasn’t even attempting to control her temper at this point. “So I’m distracted! And what is the first thing you think?”

            “Hey!”

            “You think I’m _afraid_ of you!”

            “I’m just trying to figure out what the hell is going on with you because you sure as shit won’t tell me!” He threw his hands into the air. They were both full blown shouting, uncaring of who saw.

            “Do you know how hard it is for me to work every day with you by my side?” Nick’s recoiled as if he’d been slapped, his face reflecting sheer betrayal.

            “Well fuck me.” He turned to go. A hand yanked him back.

            “No, you get to listen to me now!” He glared back at her, his chest rising rapidly with anger.

            “Every day I get to do what I’ve worked my entire life for with my best friend. Every day I’m _happy_ and all of it could disappear in a single second.” Nick’s face was one of complete confusion. “You’re my partner, my best friend, and I…” She trailed off, staring hard at the ground. “I want to…but I _can’t_.”

            Realization swept over him, he closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. There was no going back. He gently placed a hand under her chin and raised her eyes to meet his.

            “You don’t want to ruin it,” he breathed, forcing a small smile. A sob escaped her chest

            “Carrots,” he soothed, “why didn’t you—”

            She pulled away abruptly. “None of this matters anyways.”

            “Hey, just talk to me kid.”

            “Or what? You gonna force me? Just because I’m a dumb bunny and you could, could…”

            Nick huffed, “What?! Overpower you? Because I’m a _predator_.”

            “No, because you’re a _man._ ” With that, Judy opened her door, slammed herself inside, and drove off, leaving Nick more confused than he had ever been in his entire life.

 

* * *

 

            Nick paced back and forth in front of the large window in his living room looking out over the city, moonlight flooding his apartment. There was no point in trying to sleep. Her words kept replaying over and over in his head. _Because you’re a man._

            Clearly, something had gone wrong in her past. Very wrong. That didn’t give her any right to place blame on him. He wasn’t going to sit back and pretend that nothing had changed between them; he knew that she would love nothing more than to brush it off. He could see it now, tomorrow morning she would smile sheepishly, “ _Hey Nick, I’m sorry about last night. I was misdirecting, blah, blah._ ” He rested his forehead on the cool glass.

            “You’re not getting off that easily Carrots.”

  

* * *

  

            Judy thrashed back and forth on her small mattress, gulping in deep breaths between sobs. Her arms wrapped tightly around her chest, holding the shattered pieces together. “ _Hey baby, just relax,”_ fingers snaking harshly around the back of her head. So strong, nails digging into her neck, limbs thrashing wildly.

There was no way to explain, no way to make Nick understand. Every time he looked at her she couldn’t breathe, the feel of his body next to hers, his heat felt so goddamn good it hurt. But it _would_ hurt. Every kiss, every touch, “ _Hey baby, just relax.”_ She screamed into her pillow. She cried until the light crept through her window blinds. One way or another she’d have to face her fears today: past, present and future.


End file.
